BLOG.OBSIDIOUS.COM

My Music is Under The Name 'Day Of Gray', What is The Significance of Gray?

2010-07-16T22:17:00Z

In my life every time it seemed it was getting right again, it would be shattered, and 98 was a major point in that. I hate that year, when that year started I though everything was finally right, the light seem to be shining again after a dark and fiery decade. However, before the end of the year, that would prove to have been a deliberate illusion that was irrevocably shattered and I was back in the fire that was awaiting me. It culminated the collective past, and started the next cycle, which culminated in events in 08. Which in turn starting a new cycle, one in which letting go of wishing/hope and accepting that life just is and will just be, allows me to maintain a measure of sanity with out the concern of happiness.

Happiness (which includes love) is rare and when it does happen it never led to better times it has always been a prelude to harm, I now have a corresponding Pavlovian response to the pursuit of happiness. Here's an analogy of how happiness has been in my life; I’m in a group hundreds of people in a gigantic gray room with chairs along the walls next to a head sized holes in the wall for each person. Above each hole is a sign that says, “put you head in here for free candy or harm, otherwise sit down and receive neither”. So nearly, everyone including myself (a rare few sit down right away) begin sticking their heads into the holes. Some people receive varying amounts of candy or none at all, while others get a varying degree of harm, such as a poke in the eye or even a kick in the face, and still others who got a combination of both candy and harm. Unfortunately, I didn't get candy I got a slap across the cheek. This goes on with everyone sticking their heads in the holes hoping to get candy. The results varied amongst the group from a few who always got lots candy to some who always got a kick in the face. I’m one who got harm every time in varying degrees, even if I got candy no matter how much, harm always followed and was tied directly to it. I look around the room and see no apparent relation in what happened to others and what happens to me. I know I can't just keep allowing harm to come to myself, because eventually so much harm will happen that I will no longer function, I don't even have the solace that some have of having enough time pass between the harm to toughen up enough to keep trying. How many times do you think it will take before I decide that my now beaten and sensitive face can't take anymore and I opt to stop trying for candy and sit down in the gray room to avoid the apparent inevitable harm? It is now impossible to have absolute confidence that I will receive the promised candy with out any harm, because for me harm has been my only consistence experience with the attempt. Eventually with out the absolute confidence of no harm, it's just not worth it anymore and I no longer seek candy, just a lack of harm and sit down avoiding sticking my head in the hole anymore. I have been sitting for so long, it would take enormous effort to get back up, so why put all that effort into doing something that will harm me anyway.

In summary, I now equate happiness and the pursuit there of to a guaranty of receiving harm. You may ask what would I wish/hope for now if I could, the only wishes I have in me are impossible to grant, so are of no consequence and not worth real consideration. Some may feel this is a bad thing, no it's just not a good thing, which is not the same as being bad. Where I am at is neither good nor bad it is gray.

Rick Obsidious

My YouTube Music Channel

2010-07-08T23:18:00Z

I have a musician's channel on YouTube under the name 'dayofgrayy' (Day Of Gray), as of this posting I have five songs up, but I have got many more in the works so that number will grow. Please go check it out.

www.youtube.com/user/dayofgrayy />
Rick Obsidious
~Seeing the darkness is not seeing in the dark~

My Music

2010-05-27T03:19:00Z

I've been meaning to post this for sometime, I finally remembered after posting the last entry

I have a band page on MySpace and currently have four songs posted there and am working on three more, a link to it can be found here on my musician website; DayOfGray.com

Also I've entered the Toyota Music Rock the Space II contest on Myspace, not that I expect to win, but maybe I'll get some people to listen to my music that would not have otherwise. below is an embedded player for the song I entered. Please listen to it, if you at least do not hate it, then perhaps you could you please give it a vote, thanks. (voting opens some time after 10 days ffrom the date of this blog entry).

Rick Obsidious

Iceland Volcano and Climate Change

2010-05-26T15:17:00Z

I recently received a chain email that snidely rants about how the recent volcanic activity in Iceland negates any gains in the reduction of greenhouse gases, here it is:
.

Subject: Update on C02 emissions

For all of you out there in America and across the globe who have fought so hard to tackle the hideous enemy of our planet, namely carbon emissions, that bogus god you worship named "Climate Change" or "Global Warming", there is some really bad news that will be very painful for you to process. But it is my duty to pass it on to you anyway.

Are you sitting down?

Okay, here's the bombshell. The current volcanic eruption going on in Iceland, since it first started spewing volcanic ash a week ago, has, to this point, NEGATED EVERY SINGLE EFFORT you have made in the past five years to control CO2 emissions on our planet. Not only that, this single act of God has added emissions to the earth estimated to be 42 times more than can be corrected by the extreme human regulations proposed for annual reductions.

I know, I know.... (have a group hug)...it's very disheartening to realize that all of the carbon emission savings you have accomplished while suffering the inconvenience and expense of driving Prius hybrids, buying fabric grocery bags, sitting up til midnight to finish your kid's "The Green Revolution" science project, throwing out all of your non-green cleaning supplies, using only two squares of toilet paper, putting a brick in your toilet tank reservoir, selling your SUV and speedboat, going on vacation to a city park instead of Yosemite, nearly getting hit every day on your bicycle, replacing all of your $1 light bulbs with $10 light bulbs ...well, all of those things you have done have all gone down the tubes in just the past week.

The volcanic ash emitted into the Earth's atmosphere in the past week has totally erased every single effort you have made to reduce the evil beast, carbon. And, those hundreds of thousands of American jobs you helped move to Asia with expensive emissions demands on businesses... you know, the ones that are creating even more emissions than when they were creating American jobs, well that must seem really worthwhile now.

I'm so sorry. And I do wish that there was some kind of a silver lining to this volcanic ash cloud but the fact of the matter is that the brush fire season across the western U.S.A. will start in about two months and those fires will negate your efforts to reduce carbon emissions in our world for the next two years.

So, grab a Coke, give the world a hug, and have a nice day!

Especially you Al Gore, you dip s_ _ _ !

Typical bullshit from climate change skeptics, as expected. The person who sent this to me asked: "Is this more bullshit? Is the planet doomed to an early demise?"

Here is my reply:

After reading the email and doing a little research, I find it has no factual value and is heavy biased to wishful thinking (and snide as well), below is a link to an article from the Washington Post in regards the Iceland volcano. Here's an excerpt from that article (I also inserted the graphic it refers to in the excerpt):

“The amount of carbon dioxide that volcanoes emit is extremely small compared to recent emissions from human activities. This graphic shows that daily emissions of carbon dioxide from European air travel dwarf the estimated emissions of the same gas from the volcano each day”.

The graphic shows when the volcano is out putting and affecting air travel, there is a reduction in CO2 of roughly 206,000 tons per day. Therefore, the assertion in the email that there has been a negative effect negating past positive effects, resulting in a negative outcome is at best uninformed. Two positives don't make a negative.

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/capitalweathergang/2010/04/iceland_volcano_unlikely_to_ca.html

Are We Doomed or Not?

I can't say that we on this planet are doom or not anytime soon, but the long term global average temperature has and is rising despite what lies are being told by false experts, The results of this can only change the planet's weather patterns, local and global climate norms and ecology etc. It's an integrated system, so if one changes it affects the whole system; will it “doom” us? I don't know, but I can't see how there could be a positive outcome.

Whether humans are the main cause or not, as some people often debate, serves little relevance to the fact that it is happening. The earth is warming as has been proven through records going back 130 years. When I viewed the graph, I noticed that those records show the lowest yearly average of the last 30 years is higher than the highest yearly average of the first 30 years of records, looking at the five year average we have not dropped below the peak around 1900 since around the mid to late 1920s. In addition, it has shown during that period the average temperatures continue to reach a new high, but not a new low. What I think is most significant is the last 30 years have been the most dramatic in the average rise.

Here's the graph I've circle the points I refer to in green:

Many possible factors can contribute to warming, but only our input to the system is fully controllable by us, that being mainly CO2 and it's clearly establish that CO2 affects the climate in ways that causes warming. So I say why hasten the process by continuing to add, rather than reduce a warming factor we control, to a system that needs a reduction of causal factors for warming? If it progresses there will be a tipping point, a point of no return, toward a negative outcome for us, how bad an outcome I'd rather not find out. I don't know if we can change things enough to prevent that, but at the very least, we can buy some time. I also don't see how doing something positive for our environment is in any context a waste of time as the email says. Even if the email is right about the volcano negating past positive effects, it would still be worse with out those past positive effects, as I see it the author's logic is flawed no matter how you look at it.

The real information is out there, if a person can get past the fog of agenda based bullshit and lies put forth by much of the charlatans of the skeptics camp.

In regards to false experts and charlatans; the below link is to a video titled 'Climate Change - Meet the Scientists' it's about 10min. long and speaks to the reality of the “scientist” against climate change. (I embedded it for the purposes of this blog)

The person who produced that video (and many other videos on YouTube) is from Australia and describes himself in this way in his profile:

“I've been a journalist for 20 years,14 years as a science correspondent. My degree is in geology, but while working for a science magazine and several science programs I had to tackle a number of different fields, from quantum physics to microbiology.” and he later adds that he is “Semi-retired to sunny Australia, but still working”

From the videos I've viewed of his and his background, to me he has demonstrated that he knows how to and does research on the scientific information he presents. He presents the facts without misrepresentation and/or cherry picking out of context to give support for the subjects he presents. He does however show how so many others have done just those; misrepresent the facts and/or cherry pick facts out of context and as to that; whether by intention or their incompetence on the subject, the result is the same false information. It seems in politics and the media too many say anything as long as it pushes their agenda, agendas often one way or another rooted in someone’s profits.

If you have the time to view more of his videos, I have found them balanced and informative on the subject of climate change.

Here is a link to the playlist of his nine videos on the subject of climate change. (not including the one above, which was added to the playlist after I had sent this reply) (Also for the purposes of this blog I have embedded it)

My second installment of Mr. Flathead

2009-08-23T08:38:00Z

Obsidious YouTube Video

2009-08-09T07:14:00Z

My thoughts on the bullshit philosophy “I could be imaging all this, so nothing is really proven to exist”

2009-08-01T16:21:00Z

What is existence? Simply put it is a state of being versus not being. If you are reading this then you exist and what you are reading exists, what you are reading it on is exists on and on etcetera. In regards to this, I will discuses the argument “I could be imaging all this, so nothing is really proven to exist”, I will not argue about whether things perceived are material or immaterial. Whether what we perceive as material is so or not is nothing more than philosophical in the first place, it's not worth arguing given the fact that we operate in the world under the given assumption that generally things are, as we perceive and we act accordingly. However, I will address a belief I’ve heard stated within this argument, which is; “the imagined is immaterial, there by excluding it as existing”. if you believe that statement could have merit your are mistaken, what ever you may imagine is by doing so brought into existence because at the very least, YOU can interact with it and since you can not interact with that which does not exist it must exist. “I think there for I am” confirms that you exist, therefore anything you imagine exists regardless as to whether it is immaterial or actual or whether you manifest it physically such and a writer or artist does or tell it to other verbally (transferring immaterial from you to immaterial within the listener) or if you just keep it to yourself . The words you read here are technically just as immaterial as your thoughts, as the internet is “virtual”, the only difference being that the internet is accessible to an unlimited number of people, where as your thoughts are only accessible to you unless in some way you take action to pass them on to others. All the preceding leads me to be confident in saying; the statement that something being immaterial means it does not exist falls flat. The only angle left for the argument would be semantics and that is overtly desperate and pointless. Being that I want to keep this short, that covers the core of how I see the statement/argument (or others like it) “I could be imaging all this, so nothing is really proven to exist”, it is just bullshit in a seemingly clever package, but bullshit nonetheless.

So Deep

2009-07-31T07:39:00Z

I don’t understand why now I get so sad, angry and want to cry when I have feelings of adore, can passion be such a cruel thought?

I though I would just recover from the deep fractures left when all these false passion were torn from me over and over again.

I have wanted to cry so many times, but I have sheltered my eyes from that rain and they remain desiccated and parched.

It’s like I fell in a hole and just kept sliding down because nothing was strong enough to hold onto and now I can’t see the light anymore.

If someone is reaching for me, I just can’t see their hand, because I closed my eyes for the fear that would rise from the sight.

I use to wait, while I did the apprehension grew larger, stronger, darker, now it’s the terror and dread that consumes my eyes.

Once I felt I was lost, now I know I am hiding from that which I believe will eat out of me the last of my open lucidity.

It’s so dark here, but who wants to illuminate the corpses of so many abandoned dreams that have died by their own hand.

It’s so cold here, I feel so numb, but it’s seems better than feeling the deep ache that a warming of forgotten wounds would bring.

I look to see the light every now and then, though the thought of actually see it inspires a deep morose of it vanishing again.

So tangled are the hopes with the trepidation, as if they are one in the same, like a glorious day waiting for a spit in the face.

I can’t speak when the flowers inspire me, to do so would turn them black and lifeless as my words turn to poisonous rain.

Who is this person in my head now, when did they come in? An uninvited guest and I can’t find a exit to throw them out of.

I try to say leave me be, but somehow I am hypnotized by the words of this usurper, the one who is telling me that I am he.

Now here I am bleeding myself of what use to warm me until I am pale, weak and no match for the demonous fears.

But who could be strong enough to hold me up and raise my sword arm so I may swing my sword against the beasts?

That there is such a person is the only hope not yet poised to a black death, a tiny little thing struggling to survive with so little to nourish it.

It is held in the last refuge of lucidity, where at least it can still live perchance to flourish and raise me from this trap.

Cyanidal

2009-07-25T04:23:00Z

Lightless burning candle scenes, exposing suicidal dreams
With true denials ever madly, bleeding through ever gladly

In my ear the worthless squawk, putrid air of mindless talk
Forsaken, so called tasteful, the improvidence of the wasteful

Given bitter cancerous caring, as passion is without sharing
Eyes sheltered, waterless, are true when empty and pitiless

Never are, broken tears to mending, nor the solace of an ending
Left to choices of what pays, with dogged fears of forgotten days

Callous eyes of selfish hounds, no regard beyond their bounds
Caught in leashes veiled strictness, answers to their blind witness

In blinding blackness of the sun, see the madness to be spun
Insanity’s love for crippled saneness, truths lost in its plainness

Weakness given to the weary, paleness of whom sees so clearly
Safe in covers they are under, given candy of worthless wonder

Accolades to one who dances, with out music to false romances
Cluttering clear and open spaces, giving rise to imagined graces

Invisible minds sing to masses, the merry sheep with empty glasses
Not existing under foot or under way, when to stop, is to run away

In sunny sightlessness, bestowing fools with vacant cheerfulness
When lives are like reins to an empty bridle, truths are cyanidal.

Do Not Worry Good Or Bad You Are Doing What You Are Suppose To. Below Is The Rambling That Goes With That

2009-07-13T05:11:00Z

Each moment is the actualization of the destiny of said moment there by proving it out as such. Another way to convey the same idea would be; what is now, is what was to be, what was, is the evidence for such. However, put in the simplest terms “what will be, will be”. I am going to try to give an understanding of what that means and how I came to that conclusion. I personally do not believe in signs from enlighten and/or divine beings, just the signs we sometimes give ourselves, consciously or subconsciously. Nor do I believe we are guided, divine or otherwise, in my eyes, existence just is and each moment and all events contained there within said moment have always been coming as time progresses to the point where that moment becomes the past, just the same as “the now” progresses further and further away from what just was. How we experience time is as a constant and its progression is always forward with the past an infinitely short moment ago. The only thing that could halt this is if time itself stopped forever. We cannot go back and change the past, with that, I say the future is equally unchanging as the past.

It is said the future is nothing but potential. However potential is not the actual, if you could list all potentials for a given moment, it does not change the fact that only one can occur at a given moment. Regardless of its predictability, randomness, or you feel you have guided it etcetera, the future of course is not proven until it is the past, but in doing so it has proved itself the actual to which the potential is irrelevant, and it is just the same before as it is after, potential is irrelevant to the actual. There is a demonstration, in regards to a box of which you cannot see the contents; the demonstration is about potential, the potential of what is in the box. I have always seen this demonstration as pointless philosophy because no matter what the potential, if you could open the box what you would see is what was in it all along and again potential is irrelevant to that. It just proves what I believe; speculative potential is not the actual and in the end (figuratively speaking), the actual is all that matters. I talk of potential because so often it is spoken of as if it is the future and people say things like “the future is wide open and full of potential”. It is not full of potential, it is full of the actual, while potential can only be spoke of before and lacks relevance in the actual, the actual is always relevant. Just to reiterate the concept, the actual cannot change before, any more than it can change after. Just a little side note; I have always thought of time as being like a wave that comes into existence only while we are in that infinitely short moment and collapses back out of existence once you have passed over it, in other words time only exists for a endlessly progressing, infinitely short moment.

Here is a simple and incomplete declaration of the consequences of destiny, but it will do; if it is hard, then it was to be hard, if it is easy, then it was to be easy, if it is bad, then it was to be bad, if it is good, then it was to be good. If you say you know you will get there then you are right, if you say you are not sure how to get there then you are right, what ever you want to believe about getting there, you are right, because you can believe and do what you will and you will still get there. However, “there” may not be the place you thought you were going, but just the same, it is where you are suppose to be. While each moment is its own destiny, time is endlessly moving towards what comes after. No matter the wishful notions of writers, the philosophical or scientist, there is no physical way for us to change times constant forward progression. Given that, there is always something after now, after then, after succeeding, after failing, after today, after tomorrow, after the after and on and on unless time stops forever. So for each of us there is no end to destiny until you die, and that of course is letting go of the destiny of your corpse and every speck of the most minuscule part of it.

Sometimes when something is beginning to make me feel stressed, I think of things this way; If you worry less about how you got there, such as in not worrying about the past because it is said and done, then worry less about how you are going to get there, because in its time, it too will be the past as well, and as I said before “the past is an infinitely short moment ago”. If yesterday does not stress you, then ten seconds ago should not stress you, they are both the past. I am not trying to say just go where the wind blows you, nor am I saying do not make plans or work towards a goal etcetera. What you do is up to you (of course that is letting go of the fact that each moment is its own destiny and anything you do is the actualization of that); I refer mainly to the feelings of anxiety about such.

It is hard to keep these things in mind when we are in the midst of our daily interactions with our existence, because each moment demands us to placate it to occupy our existence in it, every moment demands something, even when you seem to be doing nothing at all. This of course is the same for everyone, for those with you now, those that were with you, those that will be with you in the future and those you will never know. Forgive destiny for what you believe has or will harm you; the events, the things and the people that it brings in and out of your life, these are just what have always been “to be” yours, in their time. Even if life denies you what you want, and gives you what you do not want or turns you in a direction, you do not want to go, do not be so concerned that your optimism cannot prevail. Just do what you believe you have to do; it will get you to where you should be at any given moment, which is all you really can do. So if you can, in the words of Bobby McFerrin’s song, “don’t worry, be happy”.

Obsidious

[Addendum: July 17, 2009]

On the subject of theoretical science (not to be confused with a "scientific theory" such as the theory of gravity) as it relates to this subject; it is no better than imagining walking through an impenetrable wall, you can visualize it happening, calculate the trajectory and velocity or measure it in any way you like, but that will not get you through the wall, in this case the "impenetrable wall" is reversing time. As I said before I believe time as being like a wave that comes into existence only while we are in that infinitely short moment and collapses back out of existence once you have passed over it, once it does that (move forward) that point no longer exists and is not a place to go, but to only remember.